01 Jul 11
When the giving, yet time restrictive people over at Pitchfork media, gifted George Lewis Jnr 60 whole seconds of guaranteed internet airtime, he could have facilitated it any way he saw fit. He could have given us an insight into the saddening, mentally scarring events that lead to his inability to keep the same hairstyle for more than a couple of hours at a time (some say it has something to do with a split personality disorder so rampant, it even encompasses the psyche of celebrity snipper Nicky Clarke. Others say his barnet bombardment is down to being a trendy bastard.) It would have also been a great opportunity to introduce us to his twin brother Shadow, named not for only for his Sam Fisher aping ability to blend into his surroundings faster than Thom Yorke at a branch of Topman, but also for his consultancy work in keeping George Lewis’ facial fuzz at the optimal ”5 o’clock” stage. Heck, he could have even played some of that music stuff he’s purportedly meant to be pretty fond of. Instead what we’re subjected to, is a REPULSIVELY IRRESPONSIBLE bout of HEAVY PETTING BETWEEN TWO CONSENSUAL LOVERS. A GAME OF TONSIL TENNIS SO AGGRESSIVE, THEY MUST HAVE TAKEN LESSONS FROM ANDY MURRAY. A CAR CRASH OF SALIVA AND EROTICISM USUALLY CONFINED TO THE LATE NIGHT/EARLY MORNING SCHEDULE OF MOVIES 4 MEN. Naturally I’m a little worked up by this genuine and heartfelt display of emotions, and so should you. Check it out/seethe here.
I bet they didn’t even floss before and afterwards either…the perverts.