AWKWARD: Lady Gaga duets with Sting

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There are several deeply important things to be learnt from the above video, which features not only “HEY GUYS AM I AVANT GARDE YET?” queen bee Lady Gaga but also Gordon “HEY GUYS LETS HAVE 17 HOURS OF PUNISHING TANTRIC SEX” Sumner. A man who you probably know best as the lead in the 1980’s classic Dennis Potter play “Brimstone and Treacle” where he played a demon, kindly taken into the home of strangers, who then proceeds to brutally rape their disabled daughter. Just an average weekend, ey Sting? HAHAHAHAHA. Here’s what we learnt.

A) Lady Gaga has the speaking voice of everyone’s favourite cartoon wife (you know, the one in the middle who isn’t actually your favourite animated wife? Yeah, that one)

B) Sting is so fucking awkward that he bleeds profusely from the neck, possibly hoping that severe blood loss will not only mean a free ride to the hospital but also a hot ticket straight out of this cruel world.

C) Lady Gaga is not great at playing the piano.

Alec