Editorial: Rage Against The X Factor Machine

Now you’ve gone and done it, you’ve spoiled “the party”. The party, guys!

This is of course S.Cowell on the facebook group/twitter movement to get Rage Against The Machine’s “Killing In The Name” to the top of the UK’s charts this Christmas instead of Joe McElderry, the latest winner of the perpetually wank crowd pleasing freak show that is The X Factor.

Just like putting up the tree, reeling in the family for idle chat and watching Christmas specials of your favourite programs The X Factor having the Christmas number one single is somewhat of a tradition this neck of the world and some kid from somewhere in Britain gets some money and a place at the end of a pier for the rest of their lives to sing their little hearts out, and its good, wholesome family fun to laugh at freaks like this guy. HA! Look! Slow foreign people! (Infact, I could swear I’ve heard that before…) At any rate these days the status quo for The X Factor is Win, Christmas number one, fade off into obscurity. So, are we bad people for ruining this kids one shot at fame? Well are we? HUH?

No. We’re ruining Simon Cowells fun, and we’re only doing it because when he gets angry the parting in his hair unhinges and sides apart like the swimming pool in Thunderbirds to reveal a tiny furious version of the same man slamming his tiny furious fits on to an even tinier button labeled “Mock the mentally disabled”. That’s what I heard anyway, but seriously think of it like this.

1) The X Factor starts as a good old fashioned Victorian freak show dressed up with smiling faces and ‘insperational’ stories like the girl who was born looking like Jasper Carrot and has had to live with that her entire life.
2) Then it all gets real when the auditions end and we have to endure the same 12 people singing worse versions of original songs I can hear for absolutly nothing
3) We are then encouraged to pay money to submit our vote to get these people back week after week, singing more and more bad versions of perfectly good songs.  The money presumably goes on having them having their charisma removed.
4) Then, when a winner is picked we have to deal with whatever song was chosen as the single (This) cluttering up our airwaves and shopping centres for the rest of the festive season.
5) From then on, they release an album to moderate radio success and subsequently disappear from the face of the earth.

So really, who ever win’s, humanity looses. Fact