08 Feb 12
NEVER did I think that in the dazzlingly space age sounding year of 2012, we as a race would have to be subjected to such crude, disgusting, shocking, absent minded anarchy. Especially on a medium such as television, an invention that by all rights should be renamed a cuddle box… I mean okay so occasionally it farts out perma-tanned kebab quaffing un-reality shows like Geordie Shore (or as the cast pronounce it WY AYE LETS GET WANKERED AND EAT DONER’S OFF EACH OTHERS NAKED BODIES WAAAAUUGUHG), and sure if everything on rolling news channels is to believed the world technically should have ended at a rate of 4 times per second. But take all that bad stuff out of the equation and you’ll find that by the by the programming beamed out of your goggle box is composed of kitten and sunshine endorsed rays of reassurance. So it’s with a heavy heart that I announce that Tamilian totty MIA has single handedly sent the impeccable reputation of our existence as a race and televised output, spiralling into the gutter in one despicable hand gesture. Writhing around onstage at America’s Super Bowl (an event that sees two teams enjoy a super game of bowls on a huge stadium sized lawn… I think), she brought the family friendly (that is if your family is accustomed to watching a 50+ year old Madonna struggle to contain her fanny in a terrifyingly leotard that gets skimpier as she ages…) event to a standstill by… GIVING THE FINGER LIVE ON TELEVISION. I feel sick as well.
Oh and another thing young lady, that Roman skirt ensemble was way too short, if you think you’re going out dressed like that again you’re very much mistaken. I ain’t even mad, I’m just dissapointed.