15 Sep 11
Look, please you don’t have to make excuses for yourself Big Pink, we all say stuff we don’t actually mean from time to time. Just the other day a relative of mine (I won’t name names, let’s just say she shares my last name, and I came out of her vagina) asked my opinion on a pair of shoes she’d recently acquired from a popular, internet auction website (I won’t name names, let’s just say that…okay it was eBay). Rather than saying ”JESUS CHRIST, it’s like The Spice Girls were asked to design a range of footwear, and just kept adding things behind each others back…Seriously, I don’t even think there’s a name for that colour…If I had to guess though I’d say it was a vibrant shade of fluorescent wherethefuckaremysunglasses.”, what I actually did was make a noise like Larry David impersonating a dying swan, before stuttering ”..ss.snice, yeah nice.”. However if you promise that your second album is going to be a Hip Hop record, before taking a shot at other indie bands who had promised similar things in the past, but hadn’t delivered, you’d better release an LP of only the hippest of the hippest hop (did I manage to make myself sound white as possible there? I did? Good). Unless it’s a mistake on my behalf, and what you actually meant by ”we’re making a Hip Hop record”, was that you were going to take runaway, Xbox whoring hit, Dominos, and release it again with the title Stay Gold. If so my fullest apologies.