14 May 11
Com Truise makes music people in the 80’s thought we would be listening to here in the future. A simpler time where hover boards were thanks to Marty McFly , our assured mode of badassery/transport in the years to come. Where David Hasslehof asking you to jump in his car, meant the chance to go on an adrenaline overdose, talking car, leather troused adventure, and not a sleazy night back at his, while he necks a bottle of pescription pills, and devours/regurgitates his way through a burger like a snake with a mullet. Where Miley Cyrus was still a twinkle in Billy Ray’s eye. Nevermind eh? Com Truise has a little sumthin sumthin to alleviate the rainy grey tapestry that is the shitopia of the present. Pop the above track on your mp3 player, (or transfer it to cassette for extra authenticity, or 25 Hipster points on your Nectar card), slip into a pair of these bad boys, and swagger/smug it up around your local night life like Russel Brand sans Katy Perry, testing out a new strain of viagra, produced and tested by Charlie Sheen. You’ll either feel like Scarface’s Tony Montana, or like you’re getting the shit kicked out of you, by a gaggle of rowdy lads. I’m definitely plumping for the former though, yeah*.
*Treating existence with the smug undeserved self importance of Pierce Morgan, can land you in trouble, so bear that in mind. Although if the above instructions do work, at least give us some credit jeez.